Simple Self Care… but is it?

Self care is a practice… like any skill you will have to do it over and over (repetition and adaptation). Practicing self care is a daily experience.

10 habits for your practice:

#1- Set Boundaries. Then uphold those boundaries you set. Then reflect and adapt as needed. 

#2- Pause before you Respond. You have time to feel and think this through.

#3- Say “no” if you don’t want to do something. Being honest about your no is your power. 

#4- Notice Overcommitment. You already have things you said you were going to do. Clarify your priority. 

#5- Practice Assertiveness. Not being passive, not being aggressive, being assertive, Try it on.

#6- Discern your feelings. Use a feeling chart to find a description closer to what your are experiencing.

#7- Group Identity Care. You belong to a group, probably many of them (intersectionality). You can take care of your self by taking care of your group identity. Walk (or be active) outside and talk about what your collective needs are. We are social biological beings.

#8- Use Your Cultural Rituals. Get clear about what works for you. 

#9- Ask for Guidance. Seek another adult for perspective on what is possible and realistic. 

#10- Learn your Pace. Give yourself permission to practice, make mistakes and make repairs. 

When I teach about “self-care” and “self love” I bring in a Basic Psych and Wellness Perspective of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs -> Self care is the bottom block including physiological needs including safety, food, shelter, basic clothes, hygiene habits, human to human contact. This is where we start, this is where we get consistent, from here we can move into other aspects of caring for our self. While you can ascend into other blocks like education and intimate relationships, without the bottom block of physiological needs being met consistently you will not be able to sustain wellness. Also remember that self-actualization is not out goal… we believe in the modified hierarchy of needs where congruence is the goal. Congruence is the experience of feeling like who you are in your internal world matched with who you are able to be in you external world. We’ll have to dive into congruence a bit more next time.

Thanks for you attention. Be you,


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